30 Days of Truth - Day 8

Day 8 - Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.


Here we go.  Tapping into a subject that taps into that whole bullying thing I went through back when I went to school.


My brother is two or two and a half years older than me.  My maiden name was a LONG last name to write as a child.  So both of our names were short.  4 letters for each of our first names.  The maiden name was Dolceamore.  A beautiful Italian last name.  Dolce means sweet and Amore means love.  The nuns at the catholic school I went to would pinch my cheeks and say "what a beautiful name!!" and all I could think was....yeah sure...you try writing it out on paper!!!  My last name was butchered by kids over the years.  


OK...back to my brother for a bit.  He proceeded me in school.  My brother was not into sports. He was into music.  From a young age.  He was not interested in playing sports or watching them.  Let's just say that my father was less than thrilled with that.


So you have this young man who's not into sports.  He has his myriad of friends in school.  And he had those who let's just say.....were not so friendly.  He got bullied and into fights with kids in the neighborhood.  I remember him being "jumped" by a few of the boys in the neighborhood.  My mother raised Cain with the parent's of the boys.  The other parents turned a blind eye to what their boys were doing.  It was not a good time in my brother's life.  But he got through it  


Then you move onto me.  I started going to the same catholic school as my brother.  And guess what?  The boys that bullied my brother had younger siblings.  So guess who was next in line to get bullied, made fun of and harassed?  Me.  Gee....who didn't see that coming?  I went through grade school trying to fit in and never truly did.  I was on the outside of the girls' cliques. I was the butt of jokes.  I was made fun of for my clothing, or hairstyle or whatever the kids who were cruel assholes decided to pick on.  I hit middle school and had a rough 2 years there.  I seriously contemplated suicide on a few occasions.  It was rough going there for a while.  


I came out on the other side of it and hit high school.  I thought to myself.....things will change.  Nope.  Stayed the same.  I was involved in the drama club activities at the high school and became friends with a bunch of the higher classes at the high school.  I know many of them today through Facebook.  I also started running with a rough crowd.  I started hanging with my cousin- who lived a life with NO RULES.  (long story there)  So I am skating through high school. Getting B's and C's and not really caring about much my Freshman and Sophomore years.  


Let me back up a little bit.  I had failed a class in my Freshman year.  I had to attend a summer school class. A guy that was in that class was a Senior who had to pass History or he wouldn't get his diploma.  I befriended him and hung out with him that entire summer.  We went to malls, dance clubs on the weekends, and I met friends of his.  That summer I met my husband.  Those were the days.  We would pile into 3 or 4 cars and drive all over the place.  We would park outside one of the guys' houses and just be milling around the cars talking and hanging out.  I loved that summer!!  Then I had to go back to school and I fell right back in with the wrong crowd of people.  I seriously don't remember much of my sophomore year.  I was partying on the weekends- and some weeknights- so really don't remember much.


I hit my Junior year and I started to straighten up a bit.  I was working part-time at Denny's restaurant and saving up some money.  I got out of work one day and didn't go straight home.  I wandered into the Bazaar to walk around before heading home.  (The Bazaar was an indoor mall- but quite different from malls of today.)  I was walking around and checking stuff out.  I walked past this one store and saw a guy and gal chatting.  I looked at the guy and did a double take.  I stopped and said "John? Is that you?"  (I hadn't seen him since the Summer between Freshman and Sophomore year. So, it was a year and a half later.)  Sure enough....it was my hubby!!!  We talked for a bit.  Then we left.  He showed me his car and offered me a ride home.  We talked for like 2 hours in his car and he shyly asked me out.  Our first date was at Cecil County Dragway.  It was a 1/4 mile dragway.  It was freezing cold- it was February!!  He wrapped his arms around me to try to keep warm.  We had a good time.  


I asked John to go to my Junior prom and he did.  Our picture together is in the Senior Page of my year book.  How many people can say.....hey, there's my date from the Junior Prom....and he's my husband now!  Not too many I am sure!  LOL!!!


We dated and got pretty serious with one another.  I knew he was the one for me.  My parents really didn't like him.  Which made life hell for the two of us.  So I finally have a guy in my life to make my days worthwhile while I was still in school.  I could get through the days and ignore all the bullshit that came my way via the classmates that were jerks.  I got into a few fights when I had just had enough of the shit.  I was even suspended from school for one of the fights.  But I came to the realization that if I ignored the assholes....turned the other cheek and didn't let them win.  They would never hear me say anything back to them and never, ever see me shed a tear in front of them.  Oh how I wish I would have done that so much sooner than that.  When I was much younger.  It could have made for much better times I am sure.  But I was with my husband.  He loved me for me.  What more could I ask for?  I had upper class- Senior class- that I was friends with.  Some of the Freshman's and Sophomore's were friends as well.  I ignored the assholes and was finally enjoying high school.  Sure...I wanted to Graduate and never look back because of how hellish most of it was.  But I got through it.  


Interestingly enough....years later I actually ran into someone from way back then.  Needless to say we hated each other's guts.  Most of it came from her torturing the shit outta me and recruiting her buddies to do it also.  So I hated her with a passion.  So, I run into her and she was all excited to see me and I immediately cringed and wanted to turn and run the other way.  But I stood my ground and was stunned at what she had to say to me.  She apologized for things she did when she was younger.  WOW.  I was so stunned and shocked that I remember that I stood there and didn't say anything for a minute or so.  Enough that she looked a bit uncomfortable that she had put herself out there with the apology.  But I sucked in a deep breath and told her I accepted the apology.  We talked for a short bit.  My son was with me - he was 4 or 5 years old- and not thrilled that I was talking to another lady.  He wanted to go and before I left I pointed to him and I said....you ever have kids.....make sure you teach them not to do what was done to me.  She looked embarrassed and said she wouldn't have it repeated.  We actually hugged each other and parted ways.  We have re-connected through Facebook.  A lot of people that I had issues with I have run into over the years and have re-acquainted with them.  We are adults now.  Married with kids of our own.  I can only hope that their children didn't repeat what they did to me.  That is all I can do.


My grade school years were awful.  Thank goodness they never have to be repeated.  But as I said in yesterday's post.......THANK YOU......... to all those who made my life a living hell.  For because of that.....I came out the other side a much stronger person.