30 Days of Truth - Day 10

Day 10 - Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn't know.


I think I have already tackled this one since my mother is no longer involved in my life.  She cut me off due to the decisions I have made in my life.  I have chosen not to "apologize" to her for my decisions.  I don't feel it is necessary for me to apologize to her.  Her influence for many, many years was not healthy.  Her influence stemmed on her bitter hatred of my husband. 


Being out of her life, and she out of mine for over a year and a half now has given me a broad picture of what things were like for all those years.  It's a scary picture.  But as each day goes by....I am able to change that picture little by little.  It is as if I have a rag with varnish on it in one hand to wipe away the bad images....and a brush with vibrant colors in the other hand to add the changes.


Can I live with my decisions?  Heck yeah!!  I can look into a mirror and know that I am OK.  I don't need her opinions or her advice.  For the first few months following the cut off-- something would happen and I would immediately go to the phone to call her.  To share it with her.  I would start to dial her number and then hang up the phone.  That was a bummer for a short while.


She is a part of my past......which will stay in the past.  Sad..but true.


I needed to let you go, Mom.  My life, my health, my sanity is all the better for it.  I miss you....I wish you well with your life and health.  That is all I can do.