A Vent

The end of April will mark 1 year since the injury occurred. 

In the span of the past 11 months I went through 6+ months of therapy, steroid cervical epidural injections and traction. I had headaches every day and numbness issues in the left arm and the arm was gradually getting weaker.

In November I had a cervical discectomy/fusion surgery for C5 through T1.

I woke up in post-up/recovery having weakness in the right hand.  But the left side felt great.  I had to squeeze a sponge ball thingie for a few weeks for the right handed weakness. And I also noticed I was numb on my left side from below my left breast on down to the tips of my toes. So from November til now I have had this problem. AND no brainy answers from the doctors as to why I have this problem.  Which is just WONDERFUL!! *just a wee bit of sarcasm there*

All the while I have NO INCOME because I am dealing with a severely FLAWED WC system.  The IC can be caught in lie after lie and yet I am denied WC benefits. Our country and judicial processes SUCK A$$.  Just my opinion, folks.

So my husband has to deal with losing $1800 a month of our income and work his butt off and get overtime here and there when he can.  

I am still being treated for my injury.  I have not been released to do any kind of therapy as of yet.  The surgeon has to determine if the fusion is indeed starting to fuse. 


My left leg won't tolerate standing or walking too much.  I am frequently up and down.  My left foot feels like it is on fire when I have my sneakers on. I can't feel how hot the water is on the left side when I shower.  Cold water or cold hands are painful to the touch on my skin on the left side.

Heck yeah I am grateful that I can walk and talk. But my body is not what it was a year ago. My neck will NEVER be the same. My left side has that lovely numbness issue going on. I can not work in the same capacity as I did. So what the heck am I gonna do?

I have my moments where I just sit here and cry and have a tiny breakdown. I try not to complain of my neck or leg pain to my husband or kids.  I feel so guilty....but I know everything that has happened is NOT my fault.