I read a post over at Kelly's blog- http://kelly-reminiscenceoftheyesteryears.blogspot.com/
She posted about a neighborhood being changed because a pedophile was now in the neighborhood.
I am the daughter of a man who did terrible things. He did them against his adopted daughters. He did nothing to me. He has been in prison since 1997.
He was OK'd for parole August 2008. If he could get a Home Plan approved he would be able to get out. He is in terrible health. He has been on the medical ward of the prison for over a year. He is diabetic, has a deteriorating hip and is in a wheelchair. He is an old man now.
He inflicted things on my sisters- added to what was already inflicted upon them in their biological home as well as the foster homes they were in. Totally fucked up their lives. Took their innocence away and skewered their minds. They don't trust easily. My one sister will never find love. She finds only men who use her. My other sister took a long time to find love.
I have always thought that men....the pedophiles who fuck up children should be castrated and thrown into prison to rot for life.
That scenario was abruptly changed when the predator, the man I loved, trusted and looked up to turned out to be my father.
My mother tossed him to the curb and stuck by both of my sisters. I was put on a fence- but yet expected to defend my sisters wholeheartedly. My brother was a lost soul on the whole thing. He didn't know what to do. There was no handbook as to what we were supposed to do. I talked to my sisters. I wouldn't get anything specific from them. I talked to my father and didn't get clear answers from him- except that he admitted to doing wrong. He wouldn't specify what he exactly did- he just vehemently denied doing EVERYTHING they said he did. My thought was- you did wrong with the very first thing you did- there fore guilty for everything all the same.
I was asked to testify by the prosecution. I did. I was cut out of my father's side of the family for the statements that I made and testimony that I gave. I could not lie.
He was found guilty in a court of law. The prosecution would cut no deals to lesson his sentence. He was sentenced 10-20 years.
He is a shell of the man he once was. I had such a hard time with forgiveness for a long time. I have forgiven him, but have not forgotten all he did that shattered our family.
He may never be able to get out of that prison because of the restrictions the parole board has. He may die where he is.
I totally understand the feelings of those who oppose a sexual predator / pedophile from living in their community. But I am also on the other side.
I want him to get a second chance. I want him to get back into society. I don't want him to die in that prison.
I don't know what that says about me. I can understand both sides of the situation- and yet it is different because the man is my father.
Does that make me a terrible person?
I sure hope not.
NO MORE APPETITE FOR AOL This blog came about after I got kicked to the curb by AOL. JLand is but a memory...but a very good one. I have found some of my JLand neighbors but I hope to find them all.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Happenings in my life
Life has been busy for me.
My son is now 18. Free from the controls of his parents. Making his mistakes and hopefully he will learn from them. He is so much like me it is truly scary. I just hope he grabs hold of opportunities that are presented to him and runs with them. I only wish him success in his life.
My daughter is now 12. In between child and teen. Tough year for her. So many hormonal changes and her desire to fit in. Although she never has had a problem with popularity among her peers. Thank goodness!!! My childhood on the other hand was nothing I would ever want to repeat.
Life for her has had an added change to it. The home she knew for 11 + years of life is no longer. Based on decisions her father and I have made.... we no longer have our home. The neighborhood we lived in was declining. We couldn't sell our home. Our financial mess wasn't something we could climb out of. We downsized into an apartment for now.
Our path has changed a bit. Hopefully things will improve in our future.
Today will be busy day with Philadelphia Eagles playing the Giants, the Vikings playing the Packers and then the World Series tonight.
Go Eagles and Phillies!!!!! Oh.....and go Vikings!!!!!
More to come later.........
My son is now 18. Free from the controls of his parents. Making his mistakes and hopefully he will learn from them. He is so much like me it is truly scary. I just hope he grabs hold of opportunities that are presented to him and runs with them. I only wish him success in his life.
My daughter is now 12. In between child and teen. Tough year for her. So many hormonal changes and her desire to fit in. Although she never has had a problem with popularity among her peers. Thank goodness!!! My childhood on the other hand was nothing I would ever want to repeat.
Life for her has had an added change to it. The home she knew for 11 + years of life is no longer. Based on decisions her father and I have made.... we no longer have our home. The neighborhood we lived in was declining. We couldn't sell our home. Our financial mess wasn't something we could climb out of. We downsized into an apartment for now.
Our path has changed a bit. Hopefully things will improve in our future.
Today will be busy day with Philadelphia Eagles playing the Giants, the Vikings playing the Packers and then the World Series tonight.
Go Eagles and Phillies!!!!! Oh.....and go Vikings!!!!!
More to come later.........
Free Press
Strangled and stifled by the government?
That is what has been proposed by our government. Shut America up and force feed the American people what THEY want us to hear.
Every day you can get up, fire up your lap top or turn on your computer and go anywhere you choose to on the internet. You can express your opinions on blogs or journals online. This is your right. Your expression of FREE SPEECH.
The President wants government control over what we hear, what we see and what we say. The President wants to fundamentally transform America. How? Control the free internet. Get rid of the free market.
Don't think that is true? Go to glennbeck.com or go to savetheinternet.com or freepress.net.
Glenn Beck take everything, breaks it down and demonstrates through use of videos and snippets of what those in positions of power near and dear to the White House have said. It is truly eye opening and scary to think that the government is moving into change that is not good for our country.
Savetheinternet.com has information about how that needs to happen. The FCC is working on developing new rules to safeguard thefree open nature of the internet. It is being talked about as "net neutrality". End users will have unfettered acces to all "lawful online content and applications." Government controlled access to the internet. Does that make you feel like it is open access to the internet? Would you have free choice?
Freepress.net. The opening statement at the top of the page states: reform media. transform democracy. There is an article on this site that talks about the future of online speech depending on net neutrality. The White House is calling for free and open internet.They even went so far as to endorse a bill called the Internet Freedom Preservation Act. European Union adopted a policy that rejects the principles in the White House's bill. For example: Some foreign countries identify banned websited and arrest internet users that go on them. This is Internet Censorship.
Go to freepress.net for some eye opening articles and blogs the explains the importance of net neutrality. Will you find yourself agreeing with it? Do you want policing of the internet by the government- deciding what "lawful" sites you can go to? Do you want the government to restrict internet access? OR do you want your freedom to access what you want when you want to?
Our Founding Fathers had strong beliefs and made statements regarding freedoms.
"Without Freedom of Thought there can be no such Thing as Wisdom; and no such Thing as Public Liberty, without Freedom of Speech."
Benjamin Franklin, writing as Silence Dogood, No. 8, July 9, 1722
"If the freedom of speech is taken away then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter."
George Washington
"But a Constitution of Government once changed from Freedom, can never be restored. Liberty, once lost, is lost forever. "
John Adams, letter to Abigail Adams, July 17, 1775
"Those who stand for nothing fall for anything." - Alexander Hamilton
That is just a few of them.
Let me know what you think.
That is what has been proposed by our government. Shut America up and force feed the American people what THEY want us to hear.
Every day you can get up, fire up your lap top or turn on your computer and go anywhere you choose to on the internet. You can express your opinions on blogs or journals online. This is your right. Your expression of FREE SPEECH.
The President wants government control over what we hear, what we see and what we say. The President wants to fundamentally transform America. How? Control the free internet. Get rid of the free market.
Don't think that is true? Go to glennbeck.com or go to savetheinternet.com or freepress.net.
Glenn Beck take everything, breaks it down and demonstrates through use of videos and snippets of what those in positions of power near and dear to the White House have said. It is truly eye opening and scary to think that the government is moving into change that is not good for our country.
Savetheinternet.com has information about how that needs to happen. The FCC is working on developing new rules to safeguard thefree open nature of the internet. It is being talked about as "net neutrality". End users will have unfettered acces to all "lawful online content and applications." Government controlled access to the internet. Does that make you feel like it is open access to the internet? Would you have free choice?
Freepress.net. The opening statement at the top of the page states: reform media. transform democracy. There is an article on this site that talks about the future of online speech depending on net neutrality. The White House is calling for free and open internet.They even went so far as to endorse a bill called the Internet Freedom Preservation Act. European Union adopted a policy that rejects the principles in the White House's bill. For example: Some foreign countries identify banned websited and arrest internet users that go on them. This is Internet Censorship.
Go to freepress.net for some eye opening articles and blogs the explains the importance of net neutrality. Will you find yourself agreeing with it? Do you want policing of the internet by the government- deciding what "lawful" sites you can go to? Do you want the government to restrict internet access? OR do you want your freedom to access what you want when you want to?
Our Founding Fathers had strong beliefs and made statements regarding freedoms.
"Without Freedom of Thought there can be no such Thing as Wisdom; and no such Thing as Public Liberty, without Freedom of Speech."
Benjamin Franklin, writing as Silence Dogood, No. 8, July 9, 1722
"If the freedom of speech is taken away then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter."
George Washington
"But a Constitution of Government once changed from Freedom, can never be restored. Liberty, once lost, is lost forever. "
John Adams, letter to Abigail Adams, July 17, 1775
"Those who stand for nothing fall for anything." - Alexander Hamilton
That is just a few of them.
Let me know what you think.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Saturday, May 16, 2009
No post since February
Where have I been? Living life and working ALOT. This economy is tough right now and layoffs are happening everywhere. 3 layoffs happened at my job and everyone has been pitching in and working to fill the work of the 3 that were let go. Let's just say that I've been putting in more hours than I signed up for. But it's all good. Not so good for the kids and hubby. Supposed to get out of work at 5:30 every day. Rarely does that happen. Ugh!!!
I've been following American Idol all season long. Just not blogging about it.
Danny Gokey did not make the finals. That did not make me happy. But, with that being said....I "love" Kris Allen more so than Adam Lambert. So.....you see where my votes are going!! I only vote when it gets down to this point in the show. Danny will do just fine. He will be on the radio in the next year for sure.
American Idol concert is in August and my daughter wants to go. Hmmmmm. Pondering that one. We shall see.
Well...gonna go lay down for a while. My allergies are kicking my butt and my head is pounding.
I'll be back soon.......
I've been following American Idol all season long. Just not blogging about it.
Danny Gokey did not make the finals. That did not make me happy. But, with that being said....I "love" Kris Allen more so than Adam Lambert. So.....you see where my votes are going!! I only vote when it gets down to this point in the show. Danny will do just fine. He will be on the radio in the next year for sure.
American Idol concert is in August and my daughter wants to go. Hmmmmm. Pondering that one. We shall see.
Well...gonna go lay down for a while. My allergies are kicking my butt and my head is pounding.
I'll be back soon.......
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
American Idol Top 36
This is.......American Idol!!!!!
The judges are introduced.
Jackie Tohn is up first. A Little Less Satisfaction. OMG......this is painful to watch. Energy is there....but ouch....the vocals were painful to the ears.
Randy didn't dig the vocals...liked the energy. Kara liked how she worked the stage--entertained the audience. Paula was up dancing while she was pelrforming. She said she was ....not perfect....not boring was how Paula worded it. Simon didn't like it.....thinks the public won't like the performance. I agree with Simon 100%
Ricky Braddy is up 2nd singing A Song For You. (Ellliot Yamin is what I'm thinking right now- I liked his version better.) But I'll say this.....he's bringing it tonight. Memorable performance from Ricky. Randy is saying this is the "start of season 8"- way to jump off season 8. Kara said he "killed it, incredible gift". Paula is proud of Ricky...he is talented and should go far. Simon....very, very good. Issue: no star quality. Ouch. He is stating true fact. He needs to gain some more self confidence. I agree with Simon. Throw a "bit" more confidence in there and this guy could take off.
Alexis Grace is up 3rd. Aretha Franklin tune. Wow. This little thing can sing!!! Randy....dirt and soul in her performance. Threw it down. Kara sai0d the Genie is out of the bottle. Alexis is out of her shell. Not the same girl since auditions. Paula-- present so much soul at such a young age- cute and petite- thought she was wonderful. Simon...threw out the dark horse. The one to watch. Anyone else catch the yeah, yeah breaks in the song....much like Fantasia Barrino. Out of this little thing. Not Kelly Clarkson reference. Too early for that.
Brent Keith is up 4th and singing Hick Town. Randy said he liked him- said good choice. Kara said that Brent played it safe. More risks. Paula said he should be more risky. Simon- said his performance was forgettable. I kind of agree. Not enough country fans could save him I think.
Stevie Wright is up 5th. You Belong With Me- Taylor Swift. She is 17 and the nerves have kicked her butt. It shows. Poor thing. Randy- not hot for him. She is better singer than that. I agree. Kara agrees with Randy. Bad song choice. Paula agrees with Kara and Randy. Simon's gonna skewer her. Yep. He said it was Terrible. Song was OK. Out of tune. Out of her depth. Her 1:20 was not well done. America will not let her get any further. But Kudos to her for doing it in front of millions, as Ryan said.
Anoop Desai is up 6th. Angel of Mine by Monica. I love this guy. He reminds me of Jon Secada. He nailed it. Randy...Anoop dog is in the house. Huge fan. Song was a little sharp. But still a huge fan. Kara said it was a hard song to sing- great potential with Anoop. Paula says America has connected with Anoop. I agree. Simon wanted to know why he chose the song- Monica's song was introduction to R & B. All 4 think he will be around. I think so, too.
Casey Carlson is up 7th singing Police- Every Little Thing She Does is Magic. Nerves and bad song choice will kill you. Being on pitch helps, too. Ouch. Her little changes to the song are creeping me out. Another 1:20 that was not well done at all. Randy......not good for him. Wrong choice. Weirdly Karaoke. Kara said everything about that was all wrong. Beautiful girl- don't touch those kind of sons. Young song. Motions were overdone. Paula says she is beautiful. Part of the package. Bad song choice. Phrasing was weird. Simon asked her how she thought it went. She replied she had fun. Bad song choice. Terrible performance. Massive opportunity that she threw away tonight. I agree with the whole lot of them.
Michael Sarver is up 8th. I Don't Wanna Be- by Gavin DeGraw. My first thought was....don't do it. Randy
and Kara didn't think he lived up to his full potential. Paula liked it and she listed who has sung it before. Simon likes him. Hard working guy who needs a break. Wasn't best vocal tonight. Simon hopes America gives him another shot. I'm on the fence.
Anne Marie Boskovich is up 9th. Natural Woman. Tough song to tackle. Randy thought it was sub-par. Kara said it was a big song- you have to KILL IT. Paula- thought she did better than audition and hollywood. Said she gave it her all. Simon - if I'm being honest- best hotel singer in california contest. Real world....don't think it was not good enough. Old fashioned song. May have ruined her one chance. I agree.
Cut to commercial....preview of X-Men Origins Wolverine. WOOHOO!!!! That will be cool when that comes out!!!!
Stephen Fowler is up 10th. Rock With You by Michael Jackson. Randy.....what is going on. Not right for him to sing. Pitchy. Underneath the notes. Kara said she liked him back when he lost it on the keyboard in Hollywood. Stephen says he is not comfortable singing without playing a piano. Paula- Rock with You is kiss of death and she is disappointed with the performance . Simon said the song was terrible. Arrangement was terrible. Huge mistake. Corny performance. I agree with Simon.
Tatiana Del Toro is up 11th. Saving All My Love For You by Whitney Houston. Randy- thought it was gonna be rough. Randy said there were moments. Kara- roller coaster with Tatiana. Reserved Tatiana tonight. A character or an artist. Paula said she is most talked about contestant. Demure person standing there- beautiful moments, pitchy moments, nice ending note. Simon calls it as he sees it. Tatiana is a Drama Queen. Surprisingly- not bad at all. Who the heck was that up there on stage???? Multi-faceted??? I think the chick in hollywood said it right.....psycho. That's my opinion and I'm sticking with it.
The guy I have been waiting for all night. Danny Gokey is gonna close the show. Woohoo!!!
Danny Gokey. The last of the night. Hero by Mariah Carey. OMG. I had my first eye tearing moment.
Kara......hero. Stellar performance. Paula...sold out arena's. Simon said it was "good". Arrangement was very heavy handed and he's not into the hype. I don't agree with Simon. Danny is one of my favorites.
And there you go America. There was the first 12 out of the Top 36. You Vote to keep your favorite 3 into the Top 12 later on.
The judges are introduced.
Jackie Tohn is up first. A Little Less Satisfaction. OMG......this is painful to watch. Energy is there....but ouch....the vocals were painful to the ears.
Randy didn't dig the vocals...liked the energy. Kara liked how she worked the stage--entertained the audience. Paula was up dancing while she was pelrforming. She said she was ....not perfect....not boring was how Paula worded it. Simon didn't like it.....thinks the public won't like the performance. I agree with Simon 100%
Ricky Braddy is up 2nd singing A Song For You. (Ellliot Yamin is what I'm thinking right now- I liked his version better.) But I'll say this.....he's bringing it tonight. Memorable performance from Ricky. Randy is saying this is the "start of season 8"- way to jump off season 8. Kara said he "killed it, incredible gift". Paula is proud of Ricky...he is talented and should go far. Simon....very, very good. Issue: no star quality. Ouch. He is stating true fact. He needs to gain some more self confidence. I agree with Simon. Throw a "bit" more confidence in there and this guy could take off.
Alexis Grace is up 3rd. Aretha Franklin tune. Wow. This little thing can sing!!! Randy....dirt and soul in her performance. Threw it down. Kara sai0d the Genie is out of the bottle. Alexis is out of her shell. Not the same girl since auditions. Paula-- present so much soul at such a young age- cute and petite- thought she was wonderful. Simon...threw out the dark horse. The one to watch. Anyone else catch the yeah, yeah breaks in the song....much like Fantasia Barrino. Out of this little thing. Not Kelly Clarkson reference. Too early for that.
Brent Keith is up 4th and singing Hick Town. Randy said he liked him- said good choice. Kara said that Brent played it safe. More risks. Paula said he should be more risky. Simon- said his performance was forgettable. I kind of agree. Not enough country fans could save him I think.
Stevie Wright is up 5th. You Belong With Me- Taylor Swift. She is 17 and the nerves have kicked her butt. It shows. Poor thing. Randy- not hot for him. She is better singer than that. I agree. Kara agrees with Randy. Bad song choice. Paula agrees with Kara and Randy. Simon's gonna skewer her. Yep. He said it was Terrible. Song was OK. Out of tune. Out of her depth. Her 1:20 was not well done. America will not let her get any further. But Kudos to her for doing it in front of millions, as Ryan said.
Anoop Desai is up 6th. Angel of Mine by Monica. I love this guy. He reminds me of Jon Secada. He nailed it. Randy...Anoop dog is in the house. Huge fan. Song was a little sharp. But still a huge fan. Kara said it was a hard song to sing- great potential with Anoop. Paula says America has connected with Anoop. I agree. Simon wanted to know why he chose the song- Monica's song was introduction to R & B. All 4 think he will be around. I think so, too.
Casey Carlson is up 7th singing Police- Every Little Thing She Does is Magic. Nerves and bad song choice will kill you. Being on pitch helps, too. Ouch. Her little changes to the song are creeping me out. Another 1:20 that was not well done at all. Randy......not good for him. Wrong choice. Weirdly Karaoke. Kara said everything about that was all wrong. Beautiful girl- don't touch those kind of sons. Young song. Motions were overdone. Paula says she is beautiful. Part of the package. Bad song choice. Phrasing was weird. Simon asked her how she thought it went. She replied she had fun. Bad song choice. Terrible performance. Massive opportunity that she threw away tonight. I agree with the whole lot of them.
Michael Sarver is up 8th. I Don't Wanna Be- by Gavin DeGraw. My first thought was....don't do it. Randy
and Kara didn't think he lived up to his full potential. Paula liked it and she listed who has sung it before. Simon likes him. Hard working guy who needs a break. Wasn't best vocal tonight. Simon hopes America gives him another shot. I'm on the fence.
Anne Marie Boskovich is up 9th. Natural Woman. Tough song to tackle. Randy thought it was sub-par. Kara said it was a big song- you have to KILL IT. Paula- thought she did better than audition and hollywood. Said she gave it her all. Simon - if I'm being honest- best hotel singer in california contest. Real world....don't think it was not good enough. Old fashioned song. May have ruined her one chance. I agree.
Cut to commercial....preview of X-Men Origins Wolverine. WOOHOO!!!! That will be cool when that comes out!!!!
Stephen Fowler is up 10th. Rock With You by Michael Jackson. Randy.....what is going on. Not right for him to sing. Pitchy. Underneath the notes. Kara said she liked him back when he lost it on the keyboard in Hollywood. Stephen says he is not comfortable singing without playing a piano. Paula- Rock with You is kiss of death and she is disappointed with the performance . Simon said the song was terrible. Arrangement was terrible. Huge mistake. Corny performance. I agree with Simon.
Tatiana Del Toro is up 11th. Saving All My Love For You by Whitney Houston. Randy- thought it was gonna be rough. Randy said there were moments. Kara- roller coaster with Tatiana. Reserved Tatiana tonight. A character or an artist. Paula said she is most talked about contestant. Demure person standing there- beautiful moments, pitchy moments, nice ending note. Simon calls it as he sees it. Tatiana is a Drama Queen. Surprisingly- not bad at all. Who the heck was that up there on stage???? Multi-faceted??? I think the chick in hollywood said it right.....psycho. That's my opinion and I'm sticking with it.
The guy I have been waiting for all night. Danny Gokey is gonna close the show. Woohoo!!!
Danny Gokey. The last of the night. Hero by Mariah Carey. OMG. I had my first eye tearing moment.
Kara......hero. Stellar performance. Paula...sold out arena's. Simon said it was "good". Arrangement was very heavy handed and he's not into the hype. I don't agree with Simon. Danny is one of my favorites.
And there you go America. There was the first 12 out of the Top 36. You Vote to keep your favorite 3 into the Top 12 later on.
Me...Moving on?
The "I'm Moving On" post was just me having one of those kind of days. I am not leaving h blogger.
As a matter of fact...I am working on an American Idol post that I will be posting momentarily.
Yes....American Idol is back. 8th Season is on tap. I didn't bother to post all during auditions or Hollywood week. I was waiting for it to come down to the top 36.
So...it'll be posted in a short bit.
As a matter of fact...I am working on an American Idol post that I will be posting momentarily.
Yes....American Idol is back. 8th Season is on tap. I didn't bother to post all during auditions or Hollywood week. I was waiting for it to come down to the top 36.
So...it'll be posted in a short bit.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
I'm Moving On.....
"I'm Moving On" by Rascal Flatts
I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons
Finally content with a past I regret
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with myself
I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long
I'm movin' on
I've lived in this place and I know all the faces
Each one is different but they're always the same
They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it
They'll never allow me to change
But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong
I'm movin' on
I'm movin' on
At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me
And I know there's no guarantees, but I'm not alone
There comes a time in everyone's life
When all you can see are the years passing by
And I have made up my mind that those days are gone
I sold what I could and packed what I couldn't
Stopped to fill up on my way out of town
I've loved like I should but lived like I shouldn't
I had to lose everything to find out
Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road
I'm movin' on
I'm movin' on
I'm movin' on
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Happy New Year and Some Help, PLEASE??
Hello everyone.
First off...Happy New Year's everyone!! May it be a happy, healthy and prosperous one for you all!!!!
OK. For those of you whom are familiar (and those not familiar......)
My sister has been living with me off and on over the past 18 months. My sister is 34 years old, but she was diagnosed as being EMR (Emotionally Mentally Retarded), as well as other things that affect the status of her mentality. She should be on medication for depression but she says she doesn't like the way it makes her feel so she refuses to take it. My sister reminds me of a teenager and pretty much has that mind set according to the doctors. It is like having 3 kids in my home. When she was younger my parents pushed to get her SSI and SSP from the government for monetary support. (What she also needed to get was some kind of vocational training so that she could "handle" and not get too stressed out when she got a job.) She also should have gotten on a housing authority assistance list so she could have gotten a place on her own. She fell through the cracks of the system on that one!!!!
My sister gets a stipend of money every month plus a small amount of Food Stamp assistance. My husband and I have insisted that my sister give us a "specific" amount of money each month. We don't ask her for her Food Stamp money. It is small amount and helps if we run out of milk, eggs or butter or something. She goes to local deli and picks it up- along with whatever junk food and soda she wants to get.
Her share of the money covers the electricity- she does her wash and watches TV most of the day every day, water usage, portion to cable and phone every month, and the food we buy- we've had to increase the amount of meat and other food we normally purchase for her to eat dinner with us every night and other meals. She goes shopping with us and picks stuff that she wants to eat and we buy it every month.
After she gives us the "specific" amount we ask of her, she is left with $300 a month to do with as she wishes. Mind you she spends at least $100 a month on her cigarette habit. So she is complaining that we are taking advantage of her.
Mind you, that prior to moving back in with us the first week of October, she was living with her biological sister 3 hours away. While living with her sister (from July to October) she over drew her checking account each month for 3 months. When she came back here she didn't pay anything for the first month at all since her account was overdrawn over $450 dollars. (I had to call the bank, get her to give permission for me to speak with them, and fix things for her.)
Fast forward to now, she is claiming that we are taking advantage of her and she is gonna buy a one way ticket back to her sister's neck of the woods and stay with her again.
I am so frustrated after I explain time and again to her that since she has gotten her account squared back to normal again, it has NOT been overdrawn since. I am NOT trying to take advantage of her. I am TRYING to teach her to be more responsible- which is VERY difficult considering how STUBBORN she is.
She is constantly complaining that she wants what my sister and I both have- a man- a husband. She wants a "man". Most men that she has ever attracted has only hurt her, taken advantage of her and even beaten her. She has had 2 children- which she never should have had. Her daughter died at 13 months of age and her son was taken from her when he was only 3 months old. Her son's paternal grandparents are raising him and have a rough road ahead of them. My sister's son was diagnosed with multiple problems. He is 7 1/2 and has the mentality of a 3-4 year old. My sister's problems- coupled with that of the father who was "slow" in school- went into their child.
She was abused by her biological parents, by foster siblings and also in her adoptive home (what a hellish life she has had!!)
I am frustrated often by the things that she says. My mother says that she could better herself and her circumstances if she "wanted" to. My sister says the same thing-- that for all these years, most of us have enabled her instead of insisting that she learn a skill to help herself become dependent upon herself and no others.
I am going to stop here.
But I would *love* feedback from others on here. Anyone in Pennsylvania that can suggest a group I can get her in to talk and get issues out of her system would be great. Any organization I can get in touch with to get her assistance that she NEEDS and should have had YEARS ago, please, please let me know.
First off...Happy New Year's everyone!! May it be a happy, healthy and prosperous one for you all!!!!
OK. For those of you whom are familiar (and those not familiar......)
My sister has been living with me off and on over the past 18 months. My sister is 34 years old, but she was diagnosed as being EMR (Emotionally Mentally Retarded), as well as other things that affect the status of her mentality. She should be on medication for depression but she says she doesn't like the way it makes her feel so she refuses to take it. My sister reminds me of a teenager and pretty much has that mind set according to the doctors. It is like having 3 kids in my home. When she was younger my parents pushed to get her SSI and SSP from the government for monetary support. (What she also needed to get was some kind of vocational training so that she could "handle" and not get too stressed out when she got a job.) She also should have gotten on a housing authority assistance list so she could have gotten a place on her own. She fell through the cracks of the system on that one!!!!
My sister gets a stipend of money every month plus a small amount of Food Stamp assistance. My husband and I have insisted that my sister give us a "specific" amount of money each month. We don't ask her for her Food Stamp money. It is small amount and helps if we run out of milk, eggs or butter or something. She goes to local deli and picks it up- along with whatever junk food and soda she wants to get.
Her share of the money covers the electricity- she does her wash and watches TV most of the day every day, water usage, portion to cable and phone every month, and the food we buy- we've had to increase the amount of meat and other food we normally purchase for her to eat dinner with us every night and other meals. She goes shopping with us and picks stuff that she wants to eat and we buy it every month.
After she gives us the "specific" amount we ask of her, she is left with $300 a month to do with as she wishes. Mind you she spends at least $100 a month on her cigarette habit. So she is complaining that we are taking advantage of her.
Mind you, that prior to moving back in with us the first week of October, she was living with her biological sister 3 hours away. While living with her sister (from July to October) she over drew her checking account each month for 3 months. When she came back here she didn't pay anything for the first month at all since her account was overdrawn over $450 dollars. (I had to call the bank, get her to give permission for me to speak with them, and fix things for her.)
Fast forward to now, she is claiming that we are taking advantage of her and she is gonna buy a one way ticket back to her sister's neck of the woods and stay with her again.
I am so frustrated after I explain time and again to her that since she has gotten her account squared back to normal again, it has NOT been overdrawn since. I am NOT trying to take advantage of her. I am TRYING to teach her to be more responsible- which is VERY difficult considering how STUBBORN she is.
She is constantly complaining that she wants what my sister and I both have- a man- a husband. She wants a "man". Most men that she has ever attracted has only hurt her, taken advantage of her and even beaten her. She has had 2 children- which she never should have had. Her daughter died at 13 months of age and her son was taken from her when he was only 3 months old. Her son's paternal grandparents are raising him and have a rough road ahead of them. My sister's son was diagnosed with multiple problems. He is 7 1/2 and has the mentality of a 3-4 year old. My sister's problems- coupled with that of the father who was "slow" in school- went into their child.
She was abused by her biological parents, by foster siblings and also in her adoptive home (what a hellish life she has had!!)
I am frustrated often by the things that she says. My mother says that she could better herself and her circumstances if she "wanted" to. My sister says the same thing-- that for all these years, most of us have enabled her instead of insisting that she learn a skill to help herself become dependent upon herself and no others.
I am going to stop here.
But I would *love* feedback from others on here. Anyone in Pennsylvania that can suggest a group I can get her in to talk and get issues out of her system would be great. Any organization I can get in touch with to get her assistance that she NEEDS and should have had YEARS ago, please, please let me know.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)